All I want is to give up
Energy so low
There is no help
I don’t know who or what to believe
Allah punish me with the fight inside my head
What possibly I did to go through all of these things?
All I can do is to plea for mercy from Allah
And if I can have mercy car, I won’t complain for the car
But I will probably still complain for my realities
I’m a complainer complainer
Emang dulu perjanjian Allah dan manusia itu gimana sihh kok ribet banget
Kok gue keseret seret ikutan lahir di dunia ini. Emang gue dulu ikutan perjanjian itu ya?
Ya ampun sabaar dulu. Jangan sampai kufur nikmat.
Ini so called human nyocok2in Allah ke gue yg within their reach.
Dih gue jelasin ampe berbuih buih juga cuma jadi buih di lautan
Kalau mereka mau cocok cocokin tapi ga cocok ya bukan urusan gue ya
Kadang wondering kenapa aku dilahirkan di dunia ini kalau ternyata hidup di antara ciptaanNya yg tidak mengagungkan kebesaranNya. Tapi takut kufur nikmat.
Jadi ya udah jalanin aja sambil kecapean karena risih.
Dih ribet hidup di antara manusia yg jawab apalah itu ketika nanti ditanya malaikat di akhirat.
I say, “If you’re not so arrogant, I won’t be in this trouble”
He say, “If you’re not so arrogant, I won’t give you more trouble”
I say, “Give me free pass”
He say, “Plenty of free pass to hell in after-life”
I say, “I’m not arrogant, I just have faith.”
He say, “You doubt those messages all the time”
I say, “Then I repent”
He say, “Then you doubt it again”
I say, “???”
So if my assumption is correct, that they are doing zina that is not permissible, then I will congratulate the devil.
Congratulations. I don’t know why I’m even here. You’re so good at making those humans feel they are doing good things while actually they’re just sinning.
May be he will answers, “everybody has to sin, and that’s the lightest sins”
Then I will say, “WTF!”
Then he will say, “Cursing is prohibited by Allah”
Then I will stare at the devil as if he’s out of his mind.
Then he will continue, “Weak humans are not worthy of Allah’s blessings. Eventually I’m successful to show Allah’s choice is betraying Him. You’re so not worthy of paradise.”
Then I will say, “The fuck with my life”
Sometimes I wonder
If humans are systematically to be in deep sins
And they don’t listen and see Allah’s messages
Why bother?
Are the Prophets, that are relatively only few
Worthy much more than the rest?
So only 25 Rasul and the prophets
Can offset the rest of billions humans?
That is a tragedy
What should I learn here?
Why am I trap here? Am I sinful too?
It’s so shivering.
I’m a castaway in this world
This world is not for me
But I have no other choice but to survive and fight
Fight all of these absurdities and madness
But at the end
I hope I have no regrets
Cause I have a job well done
That is to survive in this world
But not compromising my faith
Makasih udah dipanggil gudang, asal gudang ilmu. Bukan gudang garam. Mohon maaf aja deh kalau gudang garam, engga dulu.
Dimatiin?
Duh dari kapan tau juga udah mati kali. lagian siapa yg aktifikan virtual reality?
Eh plis ya
Aduh ini tuh impossible gitu sih.
Lagian kalau ngikutin pura-pura lova the proxy dapat apa?
Yaampun people apa ga bingung sama pikiran sendiri nya? people ga pake bingung sih ya, soalnya dapat sesuatu.
gue engga shay, dapat sesuatu apa, gue gatau. kalau cuma semakin tau Virtual Reality kayanya bukan itu keinginan gue.
reduksi banget ini people. nih dunia ga butuh restorasi apa ya. makin kesini makin kesana gara-gara people2 ini.
Anak gue kalau di VR dibilangin kata-kata negatif gue ga Terima.
Tapi kalau main ama temen-temennya ya silakan aja kan bisa saling balas.
Lu orang kalau bilangin kata-kata negatif di VR ke anak gue, gue kupas lu ya.
Terus tadi tiba-tiba dikasih orang Arab depan gue.
Terus gue pikir, emang Islam bahasa Arab? Orang Arab aja banyak yg ga islami. Gue sih berpikir mereka media penyampaian aja.
Gue sih berharap anak gue dapat yg serupa tapi lebih baik dari gue. Kaya suami gue,
Jadi kriteria buat anak gue ya kira-kira gitu. Kalau mudah-mudahan dia sekolah di MIT misalnya, mudah-mudahan dia jodoh sama cowo muslim MIT yg baik. Kira-kira gitu. Sama dengan gue, tapi konteksnya disesuaikan.
Intinya bukan masalah gue sok eksklusif ya. Tapi cinta dan kenyamanan itu ga bisa dipaksakan. Feeling at home itu ga bisa dipaksakan.
Lu bilangin gue kardus ampe mulut lu berbusa juga ga akan mendorong gue berubah. Kecuali kalau lu emang mau ngehina gue aja ya. Kalau itu sih keliatan lu punya luka batin dan ketidakpuasan pada diri lu sendiri. Tapi lu denial. Jadi lu seneng ngeliat ada orang yg lu bisa bilangin kardus.
Emang umat munafik aja sekeliling gue.
Luka batin tapi denial n malah destruktif.
Islam tapi penisnya liar hinggap dimana aja.
Yg cewe haus validasi dari cowo-cowo. Kenikmatan ga dapet tapi pura-pura nikmat yg penting disayang cowo-cowo
Sorry gue ga berminat kaya gitu.
Intinya kalau lu kurang ajar, gue kurang ajar.
Kalau lu berbudaya, gue berbudaya.